Friday, November 5, 2010

Confessions of a loner

Life is no fun anymore ! No drinks , No passive smokes
Iam just caught , no vibes to rejuvenate the passion
seemingly a mirror my face reflects my mind
My world ends at the shut door
I hear no calling , no night creatures to be called too
Sex is a pill which lost its sugar coating , its bitter
I dont take it
buggages are stinky and shabby
And thoughts are tangets like a toilet corner
No plants and trees
And I breathe carbondioxide "

I recieved this letter from my friend , who used to be best friend ...
I didnt reply , coz all of us prefer to forget past !!

Thursday, May 13, 2010


Scene : couple on the beach and the same old Roaring evening Sea

(sorry the word roaring cant be replaced with something delicate and tender to add more beauty to this beach scene . After all Iam gonna tell you how the love story ended.)

The girl Asked the guy clutching his hands, drawing it close to her bossom " How will I be able to see you if I lose my vision"
The guy , who was playing beech Volley with one hand using the roasted nuts , failing every time to bring the nuts close to his mouth , missed his next shot too when he heard her question.

He replied " Why you want to see me always , I dwell in your heart Baby " a smile of great relief spread on his face for he was content by giving a perfect reply .

But it lasted a few seconds only when she asked, releasing her hand and pushing him back at a time " So you are not worried about my vision ??"

Guy spread both his arms to hug her , but she made face at him , but coming more close to her feeling her sighs he said " honey , I meant to say I will become your vision "

With that finally he got to hug her too...

The camera was again focused on the sea ..the great sea was silent .

Ramla switched off the TV and Pinching her sleepy , tired Husband Hari asked "
Do you remember once you have said the same thing to me sitting and watching the sea like He said to her "

Hari grinned and seemed too helpless and said " Ramla , the love has just sprung in between them, on your TV show , that is why they are exchanging such dialogues "

" You mean to say the guy is fake like you Hari ?? No I dont think , that guy cant lie to her , cant fake emotions , I saw the real love in his eyes when he said those last lines " she replied aggressively.

He tried taming her by sitting close to her stretching his hands to catch her , disinterestedly she moved to the floor from the sofa and switched on the TV again.

Sitting stiff he babbled " When are these lovers gonna get married ?? So that finally Ramla will see their post marital episodes too "!! God please !
When he was busy praying for their marriage hoping for his peace too , Ramla was busy watching her next show .

Thursday, April 29, 2010


That Red rose
Still lasts unfaded
Fresh against the fallacy
of poisonous Love
Fresh with Perspiration blobs
like untouched dew
Was not a gratuitous gift
but a Birthday one
I grasped it , for it was
the first and last ,
when I recieved it
The rose , Red rose , was smelling love
gravitated me to you.
Perhaps .......
the Red roses on birthday cards
never fade !

Sunday, February 21, 2010


I didn't have anything in particular to write until the last moment my friend hemanth had called me up. His voice was feeble and a cascade of words plunged my ears , though I got up from my bed at midnight listening to his voice furiously as i couldn't forgive him for spoiling my sleep,but regaining my consciousness I was literally dumbstruck and later being alarmed , after few seconds I asked him " Is that true or you trying to make fool out of me? "
" No dude ! I swear , nothing could be done , my life is gone " he replied in a voice husky with overflown emotions.
well I had to say few words to console him , few words to extend my verbal support as I was sure nothing much could be expected out of me. I too was helpless.
'Hemanth , don't worry !" I started ," well let the night be over ,we do have plenty of time left to think and sort it out " will see you at office tomorrow. chill out , and Iam sure together we can find a better way out. enough of drinks , relax go to bed."
I disconnected the call and somehow being so tired I couldnt recollect when I hit the bed.
Walking to the toilet straight from bed I realised Iam full of Hemanth's call
Reaching the office , I went to the pantry and tried reaching him on his mob. but I reached voice mailbox and then recorded a msg for him to call me back.
clutching a cup of coffee while walking towards my workstation I could only think about him and his doomsday -

Hemanth is my colleague and was my flat mate until he got transferred to Delhi , This a guy who is elder to me for 7 years, married and having a kid. and If you ask me what kind of a person he is ?? for sure then I will be true to myself .

He was tranquil , music loving , alcoholic , smoker , 'nincompoop' and was complete fun to be with. He always pretended to be the master of all trades and very rarely shown his ignorance .
This is not enough ..Yes he had a girlfriend too .

frankly I havent had seen him talking to his wife , but he had a separate connection for his girlfriend , I remember he never missed a hoarding which opened an idea of lower tariff on night calling which made him a high value customer of telecoms Industry.Mornings when I rush to office I would still see him lying on the bed with mobile phone plugged in the ear . He had an orderless acute life .I rarely entered his smoke filled room , for me surging on those fumes was more suffocating. I bonded with him quite well though he always acts contrary to my code of ethics.Sometimes he made me laugh and the next moment a grumpiest one.

He started his affair , to be well put across extra marital affair at his previous job ,This girl was his junior executive , unmarried north Indian who was just a passed out from some management institution.Once while boozing in the flat he had opened up with me.

By the time I had already smelled something unusual without any meddling ,and once even he failed to falsify the whole thing when I found used condoms in my toilet not even flushed out .when I returned after a tour evidently my room had things out of place and my pillows and bed were deformed. figuring out it somehow I walked to him silently being resent for this dramatic irony, but he timidly swifted away. The very same night my laptop crashed due to some Windows file missing error so had to go to him to borrow the laptop for some time as he was about to start with his ' Happy hours' ( I call it so when he is on phone , but though I call it so it never turned to be pleasant and resembled a parliament more) .

While using it ,I found some drab snaps in a drive , but frankly I was searching for some music files. The snaps were manipulated to get the classic B/W effect and well needless to say they were more of personal remarks , but I found it to be genuinely intimate and affectionate .
During that I got a call on my mobile leaving the laptop on my bed, I moved to the balcony speaking over mobile and when returned I found lap was already taken away by him. I regretted for peeping into his privacy as my conscience didn't support me for what I did .

I smiled at him when I saw him for dinner and tried being more friendly , that was the only way to gauge his comfort with me.

And I initiated a talk " Sorry Hemanth , I quite accidentally saw them , I know they were personal , but my intention was to play some music " somehow I finished saying.

" OHH ! thats fine ! I took it very recently , wanted to frame them , so thought of giving it B/W look, even Iam not done with the editing , my wife wanted our photo to be framed for this anniversary '"
he replied to me gulping a huge piece of Hamburger and seeing his eyes bulging a bit I offered him water , he clutched it suddenly drawing back his eye contact.

And " Iam sorry , My wife was here for last two days ,so I used ur room since u know my room is a total mess and it smells tobacco and she doesnt like it much , and you were not here too. hope you understand, goodnight "

I gazed and replied " Come on dude .. No Issues , it is just that the toilet was not flushed out ..." He smiled as a reaction to it.
I believed it and That ended there me being guilty for tampering some one's privacy .

Guess what ? every story has a twist and atleast a villain to make things uneasy and unpleasant, and here the villain was a social networking site , but I will call him a hero becoause he erased my guilt consiousness that I gained from the above situation.

I found Hemanth's profile on this site and saw his family snaps too, and he had a different wife with a kid .
His house , parents , kid and all other stuff fixated the fact that she is the real One
I was astonished thinking who the duplicate is.

To be continued....